“As I read and reread all the non-Christian or anti-Christian accounts of the faith, from Huxley…, a slow and awful impression gradually and graphically grew upon my mind – the impression that Christianity must be an extraordinary thing. It was attacked on all sides and for all contradictory reasons.” ~G. K. Chestertonhttps://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/chesterton
I’ve lost my audience from 50-70 likes per post to 25-30 likes, down to 10-15 likes and now I’m lucky if I get 5 likes per post, 😳! I think my previous audience probably felt betrayed when I switched the focus of my blog. I’m not necessarily smarter than anyone else, but I’ve always questioned authority. I’ve always been an outsider. I think that’s why I got red-pilled while my friends and colleagues reinforced the status quo.
I can’t entirely blame WP for censorship, I realize that I can be very snarky in my posts, very know-it-all, and I can be spiteful in the way I describe celebrities and politicians that I dislike, very judgmental and mocking towards them, I apologize for that. I’ll probably do it again 😬I’m a work in process, God’s not finished guiding me. I believe that God has great compassion for us and is waiting for us to return to innocence, trusting and believing in Him.
I started this blog around 2018, a few months after I’d published a short memoir story in an anthology. I wanted to keep up with writing and build an audience. I was giving poetry readings then and was even selected as an “Immigrant Artist” 😅 for the NYFA, they liked my woke voice, haha! I championed every minority, LGBTQ+, BLM etc (I had no clue). I was almost entirely a different creature then. I was red-pilled slowly, it took a few rounds of truth media investigation, over several years actually, (cognitive dissonance is powerful). I recently deleted not all, but most of my previously popular posts. It was my way to detox from social justice warrior, liberalism. I felt a little wince of pain as I pressed delete, all the time and energy gone in just a few clicks. A rare few I saved as drafts, still contemplating if I should keep them. I wrote about:
- Cultural Appropriation
- Inclusion/Lack of Diversity (specifically Asians) in Hollywood films
- Feminism/Sexism against women (this was before the trans movement erased the definition of “woman”)
- Metaphyical poetry/New Age spirituality
- Memoir stories of unprocessed childhood trauma (which I now realize was a kind of permanent victimhood, lack of personal accountability and narcissism)
- Memoir poetry about lost loves/failed romance (because I always choose rebellious, “bad boy musicians” thinking I could save them with my New Age positivity and codependency).
I think I pleased my audience with non-controversial fluff, privileged whining and wokeness. I fit into the liberal mold because I was fully indoctrinated from decades of social conditioning via television/media/pop culture and US public schools. I actively worked for the liberal agenda in public libraries all of my life, (my first job during High School was in a library). I used to love libraries until the day I was fired (a few days before my birthday) by the Oakland Public Library for not submitting to mandated medical rape and for being a whistleblower.
I don’t care anymore about the “conspiracy theory” label, I’ll wear it like a badge of honor. I don’t care about the right-wing conservative label, or the ridiculous TERF and white supremacist labels either because I’m none of those things. I’m a child of God and I’m using my tiny platform here to sing! truth and praise to God, who never abandoned me even when I dismissed His ultimate sacrifice (Jesus).
You can choose to believe or not in God’s grace (Jesus) but when you turn your life towards God your life will change. The things you used to love, the things you were addicted to, will no longer have the same power over you because you can see the slavery strings. I stepped out of the Matrix—I no longer need the They Live sunglasses. Once awakened, you can’t go back to sleep.
I threw away my music collection, metaphysical books, Hollyweird dvds/blu rays in 2016 and I don’t regret it at all. I threw away my expensive tarot cards, new age books/paraphernalia and the intricate metaphysical artwork that I created. They were beautiful but toxic. It was a true sacrifice, (I’d once cherished those things), but I can always create new poetry and visual art so I’ve lost nothing. Well actually I did lose long-time friends over Covid-19, the world’s gone mad :(.
I’m not here to condemn non-believers, I’m here to testify to the opening of my eyes and heart to God. God wouldn’t let me go further into self-destruction. I wasn’t at ground zero, but life doesn’t have to be crumbling to be miserable; living on auto-pilot is mental slavery. I’ve ended my worship of the World, Hollywood and Music Industry Magicians, I’m done with their trickery and illusions. There’s no need to admire or envy those sell-out puppets.
My mother always prayed for me every night, to return to Christianity, (I left my faith after college). I never stopped believing in God, but I got deluded with New Age philosophy. I withheld spiritual peace from my mom for all of my adulthood, thinking I was right. I’m so sorry Mama. She’s in heaven now, free of cancer pain and the burdens of this life. I love you forever Mama, thank you for loving me so faithfully. Your prayers were answered finally. It wasn’t God’s fault or yours, that I took so long to leave my cage of stupidity.
I want to state clearly that I don’t hate gay people, I don’t hate trans people. I don’t hate any people, (except for literal demons, yes they do it exist)—but it’s not my job (or right) to act as a judge in anyone else’s life. God doesn’t hate us either. Whoever preaches that is wrong. We’re all precious to God. The Bible says, “Judge not, lest ye be judged,” I agree with the grace of humility. I’m far from perfect. I have very little to be proud of in my life, but it’s not over yet. Until I’m dead, I hope to keep learning, there’s always more to understand. The best choice I made was to be a mother. I’m thankful that God gave me that chance to love another human being unselfishly. Children are not a burden, they’re a miraculous gift from God.
I believe that sin is ignorance, delusion, following deceit (the original deceiver was Lucifer). Repentance is about waking up, realizing the deception and turning away from it. It’s not that complicated.
God gave us everything
but we gave Him disgrace,
We’re the ones
that trashed this place.
We’re the ones
that spit in His face,
intelligence and grace.
Now we act like we can
in self-appointed Godhood.
God seems gone without a trace
but He exists here as True Love.
I pray for the human race
to finally wake up.
I’m not trying to debase
but we need to heal what’s fucked up.
Seoul Sister 🌸
I usually don’t listen to rap music because of the glorification of violence and misogyny that used to pervade that genre. But these artists’ lyrics focus on God’s message. I didn’t realize there’s a whole genre of independent rap artists that spread God’s message vs Satan’s. I don’t care if I sound corny, I think corny is beautiful not jaded, that’s why it’s mocked in our fallen world.
Thank you for reading this long post.
Empire of Lies:
Thank you for reading this post my friend🙏❤️.