I used to sing gospel songs when I was growing up in Maryland. Singing was my favorite part of church, tears would come during worship service because I felt the words in my heart. There’s something that’s very healing about singing, I think it vibrates euphoria inside of you. When I came to the SF Bay Area I was 22, I was still a Christian then—I actually got kicked out of the place that I was couch surfing at because one morning I was sitting on the front porch singing gospels. The psychotic female art professor that I was briefly staying with, made me leave her house almost immediately afterwards. I’ll tell you that story someday.
I recently found this gospel video linked below and when I started singing, a flood of tears came. Tears of nostalgia, love and forgiveness from God blessed my heart. I thought of my beautiful mom who faithfully prayed for me, she’s in heaven now and I know she’s so relieved that I returned home to God. I love you Uhmah, (Uhmah is Mom in korean). I wish I had called my mom Uhmah as a form of respect, while she was still alive. I was such an Americanized fool. I have so many regrets. My Uhmah and my Christian family never rejected me—no matter how stupid I was, or how long I went away from them and God. My heart hurts in a good way, knowing that I’m finally on the right path, cathartic tears of grace.
Thank you God for loving me with such patience. I will not stray again. God is my shelter, God is my hope and home 💖🙏✝️. Tracks 8-10 are the songs that I knew from my childhood. My mom loved to sing, she had a powerful and lovely, operatic voice. I can hear her in my mind—smiling from deep within. The light of love shined in her eyes and joy filled our house every time she sang. I miss my mom so much but I’m grateful that she’s free of the pain of cancer and the trials of this world. She was our living angel on earth.
I’ve been sad that I can’t enjoy pop music anymore. I sometimes will listen to an 80’s new wave song on YouTube just for the nostalgia but my perception of the music has changed drastically, (it’s all demonically influenced—especially the new groups, they don’t even try to hide that they’re satanists) but I forgot that there’s Christian music that’s safe to listen to. But there are fake church bands and preachers too…even Justin Bieber pretended to be Christian with Marilyn Manson and Kanye (Yezus) West. https://thenewsglory.com/justin-bieber-and-marilyn-manson-participated-in-kanye-wests-religious-services/
I like that there’s so many different genres of gospel music. I researched on YouTube and found this collection of songs, Real gospel music:
- Soulful Shirley Caesar: https://youtu.be/0BxvQB7Aqsk
- Old school gospel music: https://youtu.be/VQYKs9DKTn8
- Gospel hip hop: https://youtu.be/v5QnFqgthRc
- I don’t usually listen to country, but these songs are so heartfelt: https://youtu.be/e9JTV0_ExcE
- I think traditional hymns are beautiful: https://youtu.be/S-7WOE9GA2I